The One Big Reason Why People Rarely Blame Themselves

Have you ever met someone who is obviously wrong but won’t admit it? Instead, they have an endless list of reasons why others are at fault. Why are some people blinded by their own faults and quick to blame others?

To answer this question, let me share some interesting stories.

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The Story of “Two Gun” Crowley

Imagine it’s May 7, 1931. The bustling streets of New York City are brought to a standstill. The most sensational manhunt the city has ever witnessed is reaching its climax. The infamous “Two Gun” Crowley, a notorious killer, is cornered in his sweetheart’s apartment on West End Avenue. This is no ordinary criminal – Crowley is a man who neither smokes nor drinks but is known for his violent outbursts. Today, he’s facing off against an army of 150 policemen and detectives.

For over an hour, the usually serene residential area is transformed into a war zone. Crowley, taking cover behind an overstuffed chair, fires relentlessly at the police, with ten thousand onlookers watching in awe and terror.

When the dust finally settles, Crowley is captured. Police Commissioner E. P. Mulrooney brands him as one of the most dangerous criminals in New York’s history, a man who would kill “at the drop of a feather.” But here’s the twist – Crowley doesn’t see himself as a villain. Amidst the gunfire, he writes a letter, his blood smearing the paper. “Under my coat is a weary heart, but a kind one – one that would do nobody any harm,” he pens. This self-portrayal is shockingly at odds with his violent actions.

Just a short time before his capture, Crowley was involved in a brutal incident on a country road in Long Island. A policeman approached Crowley’s car, asking to see his license. Without a word, Crowley shot the officer down and fired another bullet into his body as he lay on the ground. Yet, even after such cold-blooded violence, Crowley still viewed himself as a good person with a kind heart. Upon his arrival at the death house in Sing Sing, he didn’t acknowledge his crimes. Instead, he lamented, “This is what I get for defending myself.”

The Self-Perception of Notorious Criminals

Crowley’s self-perception might seem extraordinary, but it’s not uncommon among criminals. Take Al Capone, America’s most notorious gangster. Despite his brutal reign over Chicago, Capone saw himself as a public benefactor, claiming he spent his life giving people “lighter pleasures” and helping them have a good time. Dutch Schultz, another infamous gangster, believed he was a misunderstood public servant, even as he lay dying from gang-related violence.

Lewis Lawes, the warden of New York’s infamous Sing Sing prison, shared intriguing insights on this phenomenon. He noted that most criminals don’t see themselves as bad people. They rationalize their actions, convincing themselves they are justified in their antisocial behavior. They firmly believe they should never have been imprisoned in the first place.

The Power of Self-Perception

So, why do people rarely blame themselves? It has to do with self-perception. When we look at the examples of Crowley, Capone, and Schultz, we are reminded that self-perception is a powerful force. Even the most notorious criminals rationalize their actions to align with a self-image of goodness.

For most of us, it takes a long journey to realize that people rarely criticize and blame themselves, no matter how wrong they may be. Understanding this can change how we interact with others. Instead of kicking over the beehive and expecting people to admit their faults, we might find more honey by approaching situations with empathy and understanding.

So next time you’re faced with someone who seems utterly wrong but refuses to see it, remember – even the worst of us think we’re the good guys. And maybe, just maybe, we can gather more honey by choosing our words and actions wisely.